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Friday, March 17, 2006

This woman wants me to publish her novel Electic Schlock on my blog. I told her I wasn't sure her writing was up to snuff, but being kind-hearted and totally non-judgmental, here's an excerpt. Maybe I'll publish more; who knows?

Excerpt from "Electric Schlock" by Gertrude Flowers Manure

copyright GFM 2006

So like I was saying I suddenly get this awful headache like God awful throbbing burning hammering grinding flagilating migraine while Harry is sucking and licking and biting my clit no wonder we was coming down from the ecstasy and my corpulant cunt feels like a ashtray and there's Petey at the other side of the room drinking Boone's Farm apple wine with cheap whiskey chasers and he's either like puking his guts out all over the stupid rabbit or snoring like a Houston hog and the sick dog's crapping all over the off-white rug Mama gave me so it was just one of those usual days like its raining acid and the music's booming badass bobby fuck me beats and I haven't written a fucking poem in three days and then I ger another stupid rejection letter like sorry but this doesn't suit our current needs from Robbers' Rootabaga and with Sheila and Davey dissing me like because I can't get into the fucking magazine I love so much that magazine what do I have to do to get in there and they all get published in it and that other zine I Forget What Its Called all the time but what the fuck, I'm only 22 and I'm so much in love in think I mean I think I am but its unrequitted but being exestencial and all it's hard to keep it up the love I mean God I'm so happy I don't have a cock imagine having to keep one of those thangs up after ecstasy and a few lines and some Buds and other horseshit and riding around in that shit-faced old chevy with the boys and stopping at The Six-Fingered Ferret for a few with Mickey and so sometimes I thank Mama I'm a girl but then there are other times like it happens a lot when I think of killing terrorists in those fucking Arab countries that I think it could be fun to be a guy.

Bio: Gertrude P. Manure just got her MFA from Coochicoochi University. She's published poems in Gelatinous Gluttony, Poets in Penns, and The Village Grump: Experimental Poetry for the Reader's Digest Crowd. Last year, she met a agent; but he died. "Electric Schlock" is her 12th unpublished novel.


rebecca said...

hmmmm. i think maybe she needs to reign that beast in. or maybe not. she does need to proofread, though. in any case, it don't make me feel much, but i'm in a fog just now. maybe it's just me. she does have some good rhythm, but maybe the focus needs tightening??

Carol Novack said...
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Carol Novack said...

yes, rebecca, she does need to reign that beast in and in fact, she's a mess, totally unfocused and bleary-eyed from too much booze and other stuff. and what's worse, she sounds a bit too repuglican for my taste. you think YOU'RE in a fog? this young woman's pathetic. she should be horse-whipped or at least sent to guantanemo bay, don't you thank? on the other hand, maybe i should send her down to you for writing lessons?

rebecca said...

oh lord, no, not right now. i'm giving so many writing lessons i could throw up, truly. writing lessons SUCK.

Carol Novack said...

ok. i'll just have to learn her myself. i hope you're in a better head-heart than the one you were in the other day, rebecca! i'll have to drop a Federman quote into your lap. if you don't know about whom I'm speaking about [sick], click on the link to Moinous on my sidebar. i'm reading his book "Aunt Rachel's Fur" cause the Mad Hatters will be featuring him in our next issue and I want to conduct an interview. must add some of his wonderful words to my blog. cheers to you down thar!