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Monday, August 23, 2010

Borowitz Report

Poll: One out of Five Americans Do Not Believe Obama Exists

‘Existers’ Movement Gathers Steam

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – In what might be the most serious challenge to Barack Obama’s legitimacy as President, a new poll shows that one out of five Americans are not convinced that Mr. Obama exists.

The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, reveals that 23 percent of those surveyed “strongly agreed” with the statement, “I believe that Barack Obama’s birth was faked, just like the moon landing.”

The poll results coincide with the recent rise of the so-called “Exister” movement, a group who believes that Mr. Obama is an optical illusion created by the Democratic Party to raise taxes and bail out banks.

“The Birthers say that Obama’s lack of a birth certificate means he was born in Kenya,” says Jerrilene Rance, a leading Exister. “We believe it’s proof that he was never born.”

Ms. Rance says that while President George W. Bush was criticized for disappearing every August, “Obama is never there to begin with.”

Appearing Sunday on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) made comments about Mr. Obama’s existence that only stoked the controversy.

“I’ve spoken to him face-to-face, and I take him at his word that he exists,” he said. “Unless of course I was talking to a hologram.”

At the White House, spokesman Robert Gibbs brushed aside a question about the President’s existence, saying that Mr. Obama had “no comment.”

Exister leader Jerrilene Rance offered this response: “The reason he has no comment is that he has no mouth.”

Borowitz Report

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